A Q&A with my husband
On chinos, and dressing like a "hip dad in training"
Happy Father’s Day to all the dadas
I’m back! And this week, in honor of Father’s Day, I have a special treat: A Q&A with my husband, Jon, about his post-baby fashion transition.
A few things to know about Jon:
He’s an actor and a stay-at-home dad
He’s very tall — 6’3
He’s very handsome
I wanted to talk to my husband about his style because, even though he didn’t physically grow, carry, and birth our son 18 months ago, he has undergone a massive transition since Wesley was born. He took a break from acting to raise Wes at home, his body has definitely changed since becoming a father (hello, massive baby-carrying biceps!), and we also moved from Los Angeles to Philly just a year before we had our son, so that was a huge transition, too.
Anyway, Jon’s the best. So without further ado — here’s our chat!
This interview has been lightly edited and condensed. But not by much.
Steph: How would you describe your style before Wesley was born?
Jon: Honestly, hip dad in training.
S: [Laughing] What do you mean by that?
J: It wasn’t athletic casual, it wasn’t hipster chic. It was like, I’m still kind of cool, but at the same time the turn is happening.
S: What was changing about your style that was becoming more dad-chic?
J: It was becoming more functional. Like my obsession now with cargo pants — having a lot of pockets, which has come in handy. I’ve got a pocket for tissues, a pocket for the dirt Wes gives me and other trash he picks up. A pocket for my keys, a pocket for my cell phone. And now, it makes sense. But at the time, it was like I was preparing.
S: What was a classic, go-to outfit for you pre-kids?
J: It was really simple — jeans and a T-shirt. Because I’ve had so many jobs that required me to have a black T-shirt, I just have an overabundance of black tees. And then whatever color of jeans — navy blue, black. What else was I wearing?
S: You had a variety of denim washes.
J: And I had a brief love affair with chinos.
S: You did.
J: Which I would like to get back into.
S: You were very into chinos when we first started dating.
J: I don’t know what happened. But they’ll make a comeback. I hope.
S: What outfit would you wear if there were no limitations? The weather was perfect, there was no concern about money, etc. What would be your dream outfit?
J: [long pause] It’s one of two things: Either the henley — ‘cause I love a henley — and some linen shorts. Which might be too much, but I like it. Linen shorts are great. Or some chinos, a button-down shirt, and a vest, with all colors that are Earth tones and grounded but pair together perfectly.
S: So that’s your dream outfit. OK. And what’s your favorite thing you own?
J: My favorite thing that I own is a twofer — both tops. One is the Trayvon hoodie, which I haven’t worn because —
S: You haven’t worn it because you’re afraid of it.
J: — I’m afraid of it getting peanut butter’d up. It’s that, and the other one I love, love, love is the Shakespeare shirt with the roll-up cuffs and the buttons in the front.
S: The henley one?
J: Yeah. Those are my favorites.
S: Why are those your favorites?
J: I mean the Trayvon hoodie, it speaks for itself. It’s a reminder. But also — it’s so soft and comfortable. It feels so nice on me. I think I’ve cleaned it maybe one time.
S: Unfortunately, yes.
J: But I haven’t worn it that many times. So it doesn’t smell! And the black one — I feel so authentically confident and me wearing that one. Which is funny because I was wearing that during the Shakespeare shows I was doing, and it always felt like, I’m playing a character but this is just a little bit of me that’s inside here.
S: Why do you think that is?
J: I don’t know. Something about the make of it. I can’t put my finger on it, but it speaks to a part of me that I don’t get to voice often. And it fits me so well, it looks so nice. And it’s so comfortable. It feels like a hug for me.
S: Interesting. So with both of your faves, comfort is a big thing.
J: Oh yeah.
S: Do you ever look at other dads’ outfits (or other men’s outfits) on the street and think about whether or not you like their outfit, or don’t like their outfit, or want to wear their outfit?
J: Oh all the time.
S: Oh really?
J: All the time! I see some who dads can pull off ripped jeans — they can pull those jeans off. I know you tell me I look good in skinny jeans, but I don’t believe it.
S: [Laughing] Why?
J: I look at my legs and I see just muscular thighs and then, like, tiny drumsticks. [Laughing] With shorts, that’s fine. But with skinny jeans, they just don’t have the give. For me personally, they don’t have the give and I don’t feel as mobile.
S: So when you see other men wearing skinny jeans do you think, like, “Wow that looks nice but I wouldn’t wear that.” Or do you think, “Wow, you’re immobilized by those jeans”?
J: I think, “You are pulling that off, good for you.” I couldn’t; I’m glad somebody can, though. Not this body of mine, no no.
S: Do you ever seen another man’s outfit on the street and try to replicate it in some way?
J: Sometimes. On 20th St. [where Jon and I used to live] I saw this guy walk by and he had on regular, everyday jeans, a matching denim jacket, and a hoodie on underneath. It was a really thin hoodie. And the hoodie — it was an anime-type hoodie. The characters on there were from “My Hero Academia.” I saw that and I thought, “You know what, I can do that. I can pull that off.” But my denim jacket was too tight around my arms, so I could not pull it off. It looked funny because the sleeve got bunched up right at my bicep, so it looked like, why are you just muscular in one spot.
S: You do have great biceps.
J: Oh thank you! But I saw that and I thought, I can replicate that. It looked so cool on him.
S: Yeah.
[Brief intermission for childcare while Wesley tries to eat dog treats]
J: Oh, also, sometimes Katherine’s husband.
S: From down the street?
J: Yeah.
[Katherine’s husband wears black jeans and a black jean jacket pretty much year-round; he also always has his hair styled to perfection. Unfortunately neither Jon nor I remember his name and we’ve lived here too long to ask again so we just refer to him as “Katherine’s husband.” Sorry, K’s H!]
J: My man is so polished. I’m at home with Wesley all day, so that’s a whole lot of stuff getting thrown at me. So it doesn’t make sense to try to put myself together to that precise degree. Like right now I have egg smushed into my pants and I just changed my shirt because of the peanut butter that got gently massaged into my shoulder. So for me it wouldn’t make sense to try to get nice looking.
S: Right right, so it’s more functional. Is that ever a bummer?
J: Not really. Because I’m not going to wear anything that’s crazy uncomfortable. Like yes, I’d like to look nice-nice sometimes, but also I know I’m wearing something that I already like.
S: What’s interesting about Katherine’s husband is he also wears matching denim — black on black. Actually that’s what my dad wears too, funny enough.
J: Shout out to Pa Bruce.
S: So that’s an aesthetic you’d like to try.
J: Yeah definitely.
Wesley: Da da, da da, da da. Bunny.
S: OK. Is there an article of clothing, shoes, or an accessory that you’ve lost that you wish you still owned?
J: I’ve outgrown so much that represents different phases of me that I’d like to own for sentimental reasons.
S: Like what?
J: There was a time period in college where I was getting $5 shirts from Walmart. They made me laugh personally. One in particular was this lime-green Sprite T-shirt. I think I wore it, washed it, and put it right back on in the same week. That was my favorite shirt. I had a Bugs Bunny one as well, and I had a star T-shirt. It was just a star in the middle of my chest. And people would come up to me and say, “Oh so you’re a Cowboys fan.” And that would be an argument in the middle of campus. [Editor’s note: Jon is decidedly not a Cowboys fan.] But it had this rustic look to it — it was a faded star. Something about it just called to me when I was putting on clothes. It got to a point where I was just wearing the same three shirts every single day, every week. But even if I would get something new, it was one of those three. I’d just keep wearing them.
S: What did you like about them?
J: I liked the childishness of the Bugs Bunny one. The Sprite one, I love green, and it was a shade of green that was great and the Sprite logo was so subtle so you didn’t see it immediately. And the rustic look of the star spoke to something within me. It was worn, but purposely.
S: It was cowboy-esque — not Cowboys — but like a little rugged.
J: Yeah. Like I’m not actually rugged, but I look a little rugged. I’m a brand-new shirt, but there’s a little something there. Something that needs to be touched up.
S: What outfit do you own now that makes you feel your best?
J: I would say the red chinos — we’re back to the chino game — the black Shakespeare shirt that I absolutely love, and the boots that you got me for Christmas. I love that combination. The weather has not permitted it but one week so far this year — otherwise I would sweat right through it. But that outfit right there makes me feel my best.
S: Is there anything else you’d like to say about your style or that you’d like me to know?
J: It’s been a strange transition — COVID definitely had a huge effect on my style because we were indoors for so long. Like for everyone else, athleisure just became the thing to wear, and I think that definitely influenced everything I’ve worn since 2020.
S: Well thank you, my love. You’re a great interview.
